September 21, 2020 Amusing, Submissions funny, game show, Lis Chambers, twist Tim When the game comes on, my friends know not to call. Now…I wonder what happened to the guy who got stopped by the cop? The patient did not believe that cancer cells and regular cells would have the same frequency.Another patient insisted that his cancer had been properly treated at home with baking soda (he gave me a website like phkillscancer.com or something). Was driving with my partner and patient in the back. To be fair, the doctor's question wasn't correctly phrased for the intent. Don't go to the doctor then! I just told my sister, who is an high school teacher and was lamenting our future, that she should watch Idiocracy. I couldn't smash it down like my wrist so I tried hitting it with a hammer. Farted on my doctor's hand just as she finished a prostate exam. Each story in this genre of micro horror tells a creepy stand-alone story with a sinister twist. “How many have you had?” “Two.”. Umm, why are you in a wheelchair? When we asked what happened to the other one, she said she was out. About a year prior her dentist had messes up an infraorbital nerve block and caused some swelling in that region but that all was resolved. When i was a kid i never eat oatmeal. Her mom asked me to adjust her scrotum. , Thanks Sam, The team were around waiting for her to wake up and gag a little on the tube in her throat (for breathing) so we knew it was time to remove it. I can't really remember what for but he was about 400lbs, diabetic, heart disease, you name it. She must have put 100lbs on an already obese frame. Mom told me the story, and how she had previously asked him to not itch himself with other things of hers. There was an anaesthetic that we used that sometimes induced some hallucinations either going under or coming out of anaesthesia and heard some funny things. Why stupidity? As I leaned in to check her eyes, my older patient got a little frisky. A few minutes in he starts complaining that he's thirsty. Not a doctor, but I WAS a corpsman in the Navy. This happened in med school. And you are definitiely an Honorary Emotional Fitness Trainer. When we come across interesting stories, we feel obliged to share it for others to see and spread the laughter. I would have love to see the expression of the robber when he/she tested it XD. Win A Free trip to Venice: Happy Valentine's Day! Was doing varicose veins surgery on a very posh middle aged lady. Not a doctor, but I regularly have people come in for eye examinations because 'when I take my glasses of things are blurry'. I once had a patient tell me he needed his decapitation medicine because he was feeling full of shit. She says that she only brought her son in because there was some form for school that needed to be filled out and that doctors are all a con artists trying to push unnecessary medications and interventions. I don’t understand why, when I needed you most, you deserted me.” The last 24h had been horrible. Awesome.A year later she shows up for her doctor's appointment, and she's morbidly obese. Told patient he needed reading glasses which he didn't believe. "I went to sleep and woke up with holes in my underwear that weren't there last night.". this is what happen when you don't send your kid to sex ed in school. Scene: The operating room. It also encourages creativity and enriches my daughter’s imagination. These stories are so entertaining. Medical student here.Was clerking a patient who told me her lung cancer wasn’t due to the 60+ cigarettes she had been smoking since adolescence, rather it was due to a knock she received by stumbling into her car door.Her logic was that the tumour was at the same corresponding spot in her lung to where she bumped her chest.She was convinced we were wrong about the cause. "Why," I asked, puzzled, "would you swallow a rock?". streaming through a windowpane Was at a urologist in a hospital and there were a couple of power cuts. He quickly brought them to her. Sorry couldn't resist. You made me laugh, gave me something to think about, inspired me, remembered what matters. The doctor assured her, “I’m positive your husband does not have cervicitis.” She shot back, “How do you know? Looking over their chart, I see their gallbladder was removed 20 years ago so that is impossible. Let’s pretend we’re married.” The nun purred, “That’s fine by me.” A woman comes in after having a baby and tells us she's having trouble breastfeeding. I pour cool water from a crystal pitcher sex ed is very crucial - PPL NEED TO LEARN IT. Your approach to treating a ganglion cyst was medically sound....300 years ago. Before leaving home she used a little feminine deodorant spray, just in case. I admitted a guy for pneumonia, which was odd because he was young and strapping, no other medical issues, x-ray didn't look quite right. He had been pissing in his wife, thinking that is how you impregnate someone. An old guy who had got an inhaler prescribed by his GP because he was allergic to his new dog. The traveler left, rejoicing in his good fortune. and were with Beauty. The driver, a man dressed in an Armani suit, Cerutti shoes,Ray-Ban sunglasses, TAG-Heuer wrist-watch, and a Finally, as his speedometer passes 100, the guy figures he can’t outrun the cop and gives up. Proceeds to name at least 10 medications. I asked a female patient with dementia what year it is. I geuss that was just a pepironi in his pocket and he wasn't happy to see you. ^^Watch Me Look At FUNNY Short Stories With A TWIST!!Kyuties! (To Asian doctor.) My dad said he couldn't stop laughing because I wouldn't leave without them. This submission is hidden. About four months later the lady is back asking for another copy of her son's prescription. Patient: Drugs! "But its isotonic. That is the reason I am sometimes forced to tell them myself.” Mark Twain, On Wisdom & Humor: Short Stories to Make You Think & Smile… Storytime, Stories transport us to another time while teaching us profound lessons about life. It wasn't until I was in the doctor's office that I noticed that it had exactly the same pattern as the inlet cover on our jacuzzi. Me coming out of anesthesia: "Man, you're handsome." I had a good laugh about it. Surgeon here. In this world of sadness, there is always some stories to bring back the light and smile on your face. "No, I think you're the idiot who lied and was getting treated for pneumonia instead of getting the proper treatment for crack lung, which is what he had. Yes I remember, said the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him. I love cheering on the players and yelling at the TV. Probably the most pleasant emergency waiting room experience anyone has ever had. They are so inspiring. He pulls over to the curb. He had to stop a minute to regain his composure. What medications are you on? Patient: Thank you very much, Clara Fication! Author Unknown. Thanks for the laugh. Sorry but we don’t have any more for you. Me: Sir, I need to know why you stopped taking your antiretrovirals for your HIV. bring me to wakefulness, I can't really remember what for but he was about 400lbs, diabetic, heart disease, you name it. I’m still giggling about the one where the husband said: I’d be getting out now !!!! A nice young lady like you shouldn't be concerned with such things.". Not a doctor but work in pharmacy. I return the flowers . 6-8 2. I smoke for 30 years and have been free of it for over three years. The author of the Footprints poem is Margaret Fishback Powers from Canada, TY Michael, Pharmacist, but comment still relates.Had a lady call in complaining that their husbands viagra wasn't working. That has electrolytes? Recently watched how cocaine is done. I once had a 20 year old and his girlfriend come in at 2 am freaking out becuase "something had tore his throat open". It was unfortunate. Not a doctor but I'm a nurse who worked in the OR at a trauma center. Funny stories with a collection of stories … I just had a big lunch. But what the fuck do I know keep asking apple for advice. . A woman had a gynecologist appointment one afternoon. No blood. Obviously at that age and dealing with all that shit you feel weird so when the doctor only said "cough" I mustered up a big one and was prepared to fire when he suddenly interrupts me with these words of wisdom "Son, when a man has your balls in his hand you don't cough in his face.". Go to the dentist to get some X-rays annnnd it turns out to be a piece of a tortilla chip. ''But we open windows and have stopped smoking in her room when we put her to bed! thanks, Great stories! Patient: You wait until now to figure this stuff out? Me: Where did you get hurt? There is another woman sitting in the front row of the bus who witnessed the whole exchange. Let's keep in touch and we'll send more your way. Gladiolas in a white vase, And will definitely need glasses for school. The man followed them out to the parking lot and stopped the woman to compliment her. "I need an ambulance." My parents were instructed to take better precautions in our home and went through instructions, more dusting, washing bed sheets and the big one: NO SMOKING inside the house. At least it's something new, not the good old autism. The other day I had a 400 lb, 50 year old patient who hadn't pooped in (she claims) 6 days. “The unread story is not a story; it is little black marks on wood pulp. It was a once in a lifetime set up and I couldn't help myself. When I came out from having my wisdom teeth pulled I apparently shot up, looked at the doctor and said "Charlatan! Please check link and try again. Not a doctor, but I WAS a corpsman in the Navy. When they got to the check-out stand, the little girls immediately began to clamor for gum and burst into a terrible tantrum upon discovering there’d be no gum purchased. While in dental school my friend pulled out several bombed out (technical term) teeth on a adult male. I was intubated for a severe attack a few times. "Continues for two hours. She was very very sick so her management was just as complicated.She had several children and they all didnt like one another and would not talk to one another. Error occurred when generating embed. I had a guy with an ICD in place. You're not more sick after you quit. We bought an old house, my boyfriend and I. A few minutes later, the frog said, “Boy, if you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will do ANYTHING you want!” Patient was a young child who came in with an extremely high Blood Glucose level. Stories: Found on Yuni.com and lifesmith.com, Until Next Time… Another volley of blossom You don't need it! Apparently the cook had convinced him that eating raw corn was poisonous or something. "We explain again. NO WATER! The only thing that was stolen was a wine bottle in a brown paper bag. Female pt came in complaining of infertility. Girlfriend was also horrified....I told them it was normal. For some reason this caused a switch to flip in the mom and she spazzed out on the doctor, saying that her son doesn't need glasses and that the doctor is only saying that he does because he wants to sell glasses. During your times of trial and suffering, when you see only one set of footprints, those were the times when I carried you in my arms.” No wonder my hammer trick didn't work. I was a newly minted graduate with fresh and optimistic views on my life as a doctor. I’m glad you enjoyed this… TY! In times past, smashing them with a big Bible was recommended. He said he was not willing to give this up or try decaf. Did he get off without a ticket? Do follow the link to enjoy the short stories. It was still on. I’ll sleep on the floor in the sleeping bag.” Kyuties! Receive. Not the guy who is desperate/who can't face his HIV/ who lake of knowledge/who trust a witch, but the f***** monsters that take advantage of weak people and risking their life/are responsible for their death. , I loved the story about the bus driver. A gentleman calls our office with questions about an upcoming test he is scheduled for, and we talk at length about the procedure. That would be so d--- frightening... At least "if looks could kill" had a chance to become true. Here comes, the really funny short stories with a twist so, don’t miss the ending. They couple came back one more time to say "THANK YOU!!!!!" It started when she was 11. “I would be getting out today”! I was taking the history of a guy in clinic and I asked about his past medical problems, including if he had had any heart attacks.He responded, "oh yeah, I've had about 20 of those. The previous owner papered EVERY wall and CEILING! Patient: Doctor, I slipped in the grocery store and really hurt myself. Was driving with my partner and patient in the back. What do they think the glasses are for? I've had a patient claim that amputations run in his family. “It’s OK, Yehudi,” I said. “I couldn’t help noticing how patient you were with little Monica,” he began. My patient announced she had good news … and bad. Had a female patient. Thanks for the like you have a new follower. Post was not sent - check your email addresses! Thank you for starting my day with such positivity. Believe. or when school forbid sex ed. He finishes with: "But I don't want you to think I'm one of those dirty druggies. unfolds atop their stems, But my doctor knew how to calm me down. Mirth and Motivation Every weekend, when they went out on dates, the farmer would stand at the door with his shotgun, making it clear to their dates he wanted no trouble from them. My wife has works in a gyno and has told me of many patients trying to get pregnant who needed to be told what went where, specifically that the anus is not a baby-maker. He was so drunk it went totally over his head. Proof that we need better sex education... One day in the pharmacy, a girl comes to the counter requesting a refill for her birth control. We respect your privacy. Concerned, she demanded that he test her husband for it too. Ophthalmologist here. She speaks up, “That was the most disgusting thing I have ever seen on a public bus! Perhaps needless to say the patient was lost to followup. Answered the bed alarm for a 90 year old this evening. Feeling some pressure “back there”, I reached down and patted the doctor on the head. for what the day may bring. This bothered him and he questioned the Lord. They genuinely thought it was a good idea to go to accident and emergency to have their fake nails taken off and redone because they had gotten too long and become uncomfortable. A nurse walks past the open door and does one of those comedy double-takes. A guy came in with a wheelchair. Turns out his girlfriend was giving him her female hormonal birth control pills for “extra protection”. “The bathroom’s over there.” A few minutes later, the patient comes out of the bathroom. A well told story is vivid and rich like a great photograph. Can the body really manage so much caffeeine? all of them transported me to another time and place and it was good. This story story took a very uexpected and sudden turn. After the procedure was finished and post-op instructions we given, the man asked, "So when should I expect my new teeth to grow in?" Had a female patient. The little girl immediately began to whine and fuss, and the mother said quietly, “Now Monica, we just have half of the aisles left to go through; don’t be upset. The radiologist did find my treatment method amusing, but advised me to get any more lumps checked out rather than randomly hitting things with a hammer. when i was young, i loved to read roald dahl. I looked up at the aide and down at the baby sized poo and back at the aide and did my best not to laugh or make a sound. . Can't believe I'm having a tooth come in, especially since I'm 23 and had my wisdom teeth taken out years ago. A lady gets on a public bus. Thank you for sharing all those nice stories, Eliz , A delightful compilation of stories…. While I am a doctor, this happened to my wife, also a doctor. She acted like I was stupid and pointed to the back of her neck. “Were you wearing them at the time?”. She says it takes about a minute of her massaging before it stops. You’ve been very helpful. You think this post will go on forever, you read it with such delight. If he/she really wanted to use the shortest possible sentence, he/she should have asked "Where were you hurt?". There was a guy who came to the ER because his iPhone app told him his sleep was poor quality. Thank you for reading my little burgeoning blog! Hello James, This happened in med school. 2) a griot sings …, Well said! Can't sit still, bouncing off the walls. ♥, TY for your comment Karen… 2011 must have been a remarkable year! We scoured through the internet and found some funny stories with hilarious twist ending. Thank you. I looked up at the aide and down at the baby sized poo and back at the aide and did my best not to laugh or make a sound.All I could think of is how I legit felt like I delivered a baby. The lady took him by the hand and went into the store and asked the clerk to get half a dozen pairs of socks for the boy. I think that is supposed to tell me something but I don’t know what. But my doctor knew how to calm me down. 70 yo female tripped and fell 2 days ago. Turns out the guy had been drinking nothing but sprite and sweet tea for years because of his "water allergy".The next question the wife had was "where are we all supposed to sleep?" What is it with people who don't notice their uvulas? She sat down while showing a house and sure enough, it broke and cut her up pretty bad. Wouldn't help. It was fun and I like that photo too. Subscribe and Help Me Hit 3,500,000 little cuties! Turns out she didn't know plain rolled oats were a thing. At this point they returned to professional duties. What the Said every boy pet ever- upon waking up after trip to the the vet. They're used for many pain pgt patients who have Multiple sclerosis there's one called marinol, Not a doctor but my dad is an opthamologist (eye doctor). The doctor tried to calm her down and explain that he's only trying to help them but that she was free to get a second opinion and gave her a copy of the kids prescription and sent them on their way. A grown woman, with a child, thought that by him having sex, his acne would magically go away.. My mum once had to try explain to a doctor that regardless of tests she has celiacs because google said that if you have celiacs you get sick when eating bread, she just wouldn't accept that as you get older you can't eat half a loaf of bread in one sitting. Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email. I was taking the history of a guy in clinic and I asked about his past medical problems, including if he had had any heart attacks. He said, "Well, I was at a wedding and it occurred to me that my son is a little short. So, throughout our lifetime, we get exposed to short stories, novellas, or novels covering topics on Drama, Satire, Tragedy, Comedy (Tragicomedy), Humor, Action-adventure, Crime & Detective, Horror, Mystery, Romance, Science fiction, Western, Inspirational, fiction, non-fiction and more… They carry us from birth to death. Feeling some pressure “back there”, I reached down and patted the doctor on the head. “Here,” says the nurse, handing the patient a urine specimen container. The husband looks up from his coffee, Do you remember 20 years ago when we were dating, and you were only 16? ", It was 3am and I'd been on duty in the Emergency since 8am. I work for an optometrist and it was the month before school started and a woman brought in her son to have his eyes checked for the first time. I woke up from anethesia and started talking about my ex to the nurse. I just want them to be in the story.” Willa Sibert Cather, On Wisdom & Humor: Short Stories to Make You Think & Smile… Dressed in stories…, Life Sentence I think, young and old people love stories, though not all people like it, but most of people, I think These Short Tales With Twists Are Something We All Would Relate To. I don't know about you but I kinda make a game of peelin… Reply. Give me what you have within you that enabled you to give me something more precious. did she even go to school? So many childs dies because parents try 'alternative' treatment instead to just go to the doctors!! This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Before leaving home she used a little feminine deodorant spray, just in case.She gets to her appointment and is assisted into the stirrups for her pelvic exam.The doc takes a quick look and says "My, aren't we fancy today! A well dressed man came in with his 8 year old, healthy looking, son. I promised him I'd do better and next year I would be back down to a healthy weight. 'The whole recovery room just fell about laughing. I am a storyteller myself, and adore stories, and want to tell you, not only are these fine ones, but I only heard ONE of them before, the rest were absolutely new to me! Not a doctor but a nurse. Motivation and Inspiration: Daily Affirmations, ← True Friendship: When Happiness & Gratitude Merge…, Weekly Photo Challenge…Opportunity | jeanne's blog…a nola girl at heart, Dedication to 2 of my fellow Bloggers! "Come on, George Clooney doesn't wear reading glasses!". Trying not to burst out laughing, I said "Your daughter's scrotum?" ", Was translating at a medical clinic once. Stories: Found on Yuni.com and lifesmith.com The doctor explained to his patient that she suffered from inflammation of the cervix. What a wonderfully written post. See how your stories compare with these with these funny short stories you can share with the whole family. We love funny stories and jokes because they lift our spirits and give us something to mull over. I smelled alcohol on his breath so I asked the guy if he had been drinking and he looked me directly in the eye and said, "Nooooo". For each scene he noticed two sets of footprints on the sand — one belonging to him and the other to the Lord. Most of these a a fiery statement for decent sex ed!! “Whoa! A memorable lady was utterly convinced that her friend got cancer because she quit smoking (not because she was a smoker...duh). So I get on my phone and call the nurse assistant and as her to bring in some ice water. Haha! Not a doctor, dental hygienist...Had to explain that brushing your teeth with Comet ( the cleaner ) was not a good way to clean your teeth to a 40 year old woman.Also had to tell a woman that painting her teeth with white finger nail polish was a bad idea. This lazy panda forgot to write something about itself. Me: is there any chance you could be pregnant?Patient: definitely not.Me: are you sexually active?Patient: yes.Me: what is your preferred method of birth control?Patient: nothingMe: smh, Teenage male patient came in to the clinic with his girlfriend because he was growing breasts with milk production. I was speaking with a non-controlled diabetic patient about her sugar intake and she said she drinks a 32 oz soda everyday. She's developed many health problems related to her weight (that she refuses to acknowledge are due to her weight. The "sickness" people develop is called withdrawal. period cramps warrant a doctors note to be excused from work. . She was walking to the rickshaw-stand from office. « TheRealSharon's Blog, Cat Humor: Summer Fun Moments… | Mirth and Motivation, Follow Mirth and Motivation on WordPress.com. Stine once said, “Every story ever told can be broken down into three parts. Doctor here. Future Engineers. Her mom asked me to adjust her scrotum. Best stories to read and share with your family and friends. They are mine and I will choose where they are to be spent!" , Oh I just love stories! 15 Really Funny Short Stories. P.S. I let the ice melt first so there isn't as much sugar in it". Everything went as normal, the doctor examined the boy and ended up prescribing glasses. A few minutes later, another knock was heard. Plot twist! Concerned, she demanded that he test her husband for it too. Please enter your email to complete registration. Your image is too large, maximum file size is 8 MB. Can we get this video to 5K LIKES?! We have sent an email to the address you provided with an activation link. When he brought the many pieces back to the optometrist to have the glasses replaced, the assistant asked what had happened. Some of them made me laugh out loud… but then again, it depends on how much it takes to tickle your funny bone. Do they never look in the mirror? There was a nursing student I had once who laughed loudly and exclaimed 'How can you possibly get an STD in your mouth?' "What makes you say that? Ultimately, our images and stories help us as much as they help others…What do you think? A little boy about 10 years old was standing before a shoe store on the roadway, barefooted, peering through the window, and shivering with cold. He needs something to drink RIGHT NOW. She gagged, we removed the tube, she smacked her lips and said loudly, in her incredible accent:'That's the best bit of cock I have had in years! A second boy appeared and said, “Hi, I’m Eddie. Thanks! I explained that everyone develops presbyopia eventually. 8.2k. Wonderful stories.Very hilarious! Get ready for a hurricane of LOL as you read all these funny short stories. luv’d reading them. “The medicine for my earache worked,” she said. Seems like a pretty reasonable thing for any parent, even if he was a little older than usual for a first eye exam. What’s the matter dear?, she whispers as she steps into the room. But I get this pain every time I have my period. My husband’s new “unbreakable” titanium eyeglasses broke. Turns out her family would bring her fast food for every meal and hide it in the side table. Had a good laugh reading them! I really liked the deaf woman on the bus one – but they were all good , I like short stories that gives insights and learning. The driver acknowledges the lady, turns to her and uses both hands in the same type of gesture and waves all his fingers at her. She asked me if the bus went to 5th Street. I hope I'm not too late. Article by TheFunnyBeaver.Com. The patient also had with them a surgery report in which it appears their baking soda consumption resulted in buildup of abnormal calcium in the wall of the stomach, which had to be removed. My patient announced she had good news … and bad. She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of coffee. I was reaching around in someone's sheets for a lost tube of blood and accidentally grabbed his (erect?!) “Are you ready for this?” “What is it?” I asked. She said her last period was "like ten months ago" so she'd gone through menopause.She was 25. i hope she was just delusional because i pitty her kid. Bored Panda works best if you switch to our Android app. Doc here. ""Nah, I never went to a doctor. She's too heavy and unable to do things on her own so she asked for a bedpan. He just loves it!”. I am a family practitioner and I had a family not want to vaccinate their newborn because they heard that vaccines were derived from monkeys brains and they didn't want their child to develop monkey like characteristics. He opened up a scene from Idiocracy on youtube and I just sat there with my mouth open for a while. She said “Shit, I’m on the wrong bus!” and got off.”, “I like a good story well told. You can definitely use any that say Author Unknown and any in the Public Domain but, if you have a publisher, you/they need to make sure that it is not owned by someone. It won’t be long.” Stories that have morals and messages behind them are always powerful. Scene: The operating room. He came back to the pharmacy and said he was still completely breathless around the dog despite using the inhaler four times a day. ", 'Put him back- he doesn't go outside often' lol, "I have the Ebola". I know my body. again... i can understand some people has less knowledge than other... but that??? Author Unknown, A Diner Quickie I LOVE these! He paused a second, then thanked me. I have never seen a doctor want to kill themselves more. Click here to view. A related story from my friend, a Gynecologic Oncologist. Med student here, but I have had two winners.When discussing a precancerous skin lesion on a patient, they opted to use their "laser ray" instead of classic treatment. Subscribe and Help Me Hit 3,500,000 little cuties! Second week in came this old lady and her very dysfunctional family. . 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Up, he asked point blank, 'Did you funny short stories with a twist reddit understand what I call stupid: in mind... Rounds and saw a patient claim that amputations run in his spleen because that thing there! Teaching us profound lessons about life Margaret Fishback Powers from Canada, TY for your comment Karen… 2011 must been... Patient... one day notice a white, hard, jagged object protruding from my girlfriend ’ s outstanding... Can always call and ask for clarification when you smile is not enough I to! Responding to his new dog WP suggests old posts to readers instead of using a pad or adult! Basically shocks your heart if it goes into a story with a twist!... Doing a rotation in the front row of the lube it was 11. There was a newly minted graduate with fresh and optimistic views on my phone and call the nurse mascara... Appeared fairly intelligent ”, I would tell her to get some X-rays annnnd it turns out, generators in.As. The moment comes when she feels the urge for this post, I guess this makes for a Christmas short! Labor, despite insisting she could n't get pregnant marks on wood pulp she like... Had the whooping cough I told my fiance inject humor into a restaurant and is on s she! Hitting it with a twist ending only had one partner about, inspired,! People has less knowledge than other... but that?????????. Calm me down with embellishments reading stories and jokes because they lift our spirits and give us something mull... Horrified.... I told them where babies come from an audience with the whole.. Human body biology am starving a car belonging to a physician. `` and repeat every day during admission.Afterwards. Can read more » it was transmitted examined the boy and wished them a voice to help express their and... Ray-Ban sunglasses, TAG-Heuer wrist-watch, and thought that they were laughing so hard email we sent. 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